SPOTLIGHT - I

That was a newly constructed small bridge in Pallavaram (suburbs of Chennai), runs for a kilometer, laid across the railway track of the Chennai Suburban railway network. The lights of the city were shooting up, as the sun was going down. My TVS XL moped was speeding over the bridge by chasing the daylight. My college ID card hung by neck lanyard was swinging along the wind direction by my waist. Unlike my mind, the bridge was very calm with one or two motorbikes and cycles around. I was reminded about traveling on the same bridge 5 months ago for her dad’s funeral. The state of mind I had on the day of her dad’s death, was much better than the one I had at that time. Glimpses of her dad's death were screening in my mind.

I came to know her from high school. Time made us be together because of travels and tuitions. Her smile resembled the purple December blossoms of my backyard. She was fair. Her eyes were attractive and bold. Boys were chasing her like math problems of high school. For the first few months, she was like a lotus leaf, which even though remains close to water doesn’t share details with it. Later she started sharing every detail of her with me. I have never seen her shedding tears for anything until that December Sunday afternoon. 

Sunday afternoons are always tummy filled, lazy ones with some old movies on television. That phone call from one of the friends gave me a shock. I hung up.

‘Amma, Damini dad had a heart attack. He got collapsed and died’ I told my mom and I was rushing to take the keys of my moped. 

Uncle was a mid 40s person with a sweet gesture. Since aunty was from the interiors of Kerala, she finds difficulty in speaking Tamil. So uncle used to talk more to me. My heart was weeping inside with an immense amount of grief.

As I approached her street, it was crowded. There were a number of vehicles blocking half of the street. I added my vehicle to that numbers and walked towards her house. I saw a couple of my friends outside the house. I uttered their names and they walked towards me.

‘Where is Damini? Did you see her? How did it happen? How did you know?’ My questions were piling up before I was hearing answers from them

‘Sudden heart attack. He vomited and they took him to hospital. That’s it. Praveen called me and told everything’ one of my friends said.

‘Okay. Where is Damini?’ I asked.

‘We saw her. She was crying badly. Aks, I have known her for the past 10 years and have never seen her crying for anything. I can’t see her or even talk to her’ my friend told.

I moved inside the crowd. Her dad was laid in a freezer box. Garland was flooding over the box. I managed and saw his calm face. She was sitting beside the box. Her tear wetted face was pink. December blossoms smile filled lips were motionless. Her curly hair was clumsy. She wasn’t aware of the things happening around. I was drowning myself in her sadness. My vision was struggling to hold on to look at her weeping. Her naughty little sister’s eyes were still. Her face was pale and shocked. I was reluctant to see her mom’s face. I couldn’t see that scene and just walked away. I was there for a long time and left home. None of my friends talked to each other for a week. At that time, we were all poor freshman souls who were not meant to deal with the critical aspects of life. But life never considered that. 

I called one of my friends who lived nearby to Damini,

‘Did you meet her? Did you go to her house?’ I asked

‘I talked to her. She is trying to get back. I guess Praveen talks to her regularly. You know him right?’ she asked me.

‘Yes, I know him’ I said. ‘I know more than what you know’ my mind was saying to her. I cut the call. 

Praveen was a tuition mate of ours. Damini knew him from childhood. They were best friends in the beginning. When Damini took me secretly to a coffee shop to meet him, I realized that, there was something more than friendship filled the air. I assumed that he would be emotional support for her loss. My assumption proved right. In a conversation between us, she was talking about Praveen’s care towards her. I confined her words inside my heart. None of my friends knew what was going between them exactly. Neither me. 

A loud honk of some vehicle made me come out of all those glimpses. When my moped just crossed the bridge, I heard my mobile ringing. I stopped the vehicle and attended the call. 

‘Where are you?’ my friend who was waiting with Damini asked me.

‘On the way. How is she? Are you sure that it is true? I still can’t take it to my mind’ I reconfirmed her.

‘Don’t ask any questions. Come fast’ she shouted.

‘Five minutes’ I said and raised my accelerator.

As soon as I reached their place, I could see the grief-struck face of Damini. Her eyes spoke a million things to me. I was helpless. Even the evilest evil would have melted on seeing her eyes. Several questions were raised in my mind. I wasn’t sure what to ask and how to ask. A minute of silence was broken by the other friend. 

‘Swarna is yet to come. Once she comes we all can go’’ she said. I just nodded. I wanted to hold Damini’s hand and to ask her to be bold. 

`How can she be bold? Who will be bold in this situation? No human can handle the immediate death of loved ones in a row’ my heart was talking to itself. Meanwhile, Swarna arrived. We started our mopeds and started driving. Swarna was sitting behind me. 

‘Swarna, what exactly happened?’ I asked her. 

‘Praveen got a new Duke bike last week. When he was driving on the highway, he got hit by the truck. He wasn’t wearing a helmet’ she stopped.

My tires were regaining its state after being hit by the speed breaker. 

‘Was it a head injury?’ I asked. 

‘Yes, I don’t know how Damini is going to handle this. He was the emotional support for her. I guess they were in the phase of getting into a relationship’ she was worried. I remained silent

‘Yesterday he called me. He was planning something for Damini’s bday. He was asking me to help with…….’ she was reminiscing about the things which he talked about. I wasn’t hearing anything. The only thing which was flashing in my mind was Praveen’s face. 

We all reached his house. The sun had gone down. The hibiscus flowers outside his house were dried. The entire region was flooded with hundreds of students. He was a popular person among the folks. We walked inside the house, Damini amidst us. We had a plan of not letting her being there for a long time. He was laid inside the freezer box. His mom was weeping and his thirteen-year-old sister saw Damini. 

‘Anna, Damini has come anna. Get up anna!’ she uttered and cried terribly. I could hear those words even now. That was tearing my flesh on that day. We took Damini back home and I was the last one to leave the house.

‘I wish my dad was here’ she said to me.

I hugged her and left silently. I lost my peace for a few days. After a week, I started visiting her often stating the reason for studying math and electronics. Yes, we did study. But more than that my presence was adding her peace. She only studied when I was there. She was normal when I was there. I wanted to be with her. I was there for her. A year passed and she recovered. 

For the first time in my life, I was emotional support to someone. She designed me as one. My patience grew and I learned to balance between sympathy and support. I experienced a feeling of being there for someone. I realized that we both were getting into a never-ending friendship. Finally, we both grew as well-seasoned women.

Deaths are hard. No matter it is for a young or old, it is horrible, terrifying and difficult. Being hardened by empathy and boldness, she survived all the sorrows. She is an independent girl, beloved sister and responsible daughter. 

Get ready to follow the light!

Vintage yellow spot light is falling on a handsome guy. Though he isn’t building him in the gym, he has a perfect body and healthy appearance. His smartness is enhanced by his smile. His mustache is thick which is an add on for his manliness. He has sharp eyes and dense hair. What’s up with this guy?

Wait for the lights...